


black skies

by leovaldez



Series: into the endless darkness [3]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hell Trauma, Near Death Experiences, New Rome (Percy Jackson), New Rome University (Percy Jackson), Post-Tartarus (Percy Jackson), Post-The House of Hades (Heroes of Olympus), Post-The Trials of Apollo, Recovery, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27899206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leovaldez/pseuds/leovaldez
Summary: It wasn’t just the nightmares for Annabeth.
Series: into the endless darkness [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2025365
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	black skies

**Author's Note:**

> i can't believe i had to add the new rome university tag :(

It wasn’t just the nightmares for Annabeth. Tartarus stayed with her wherever she went, choking her with death and poison. It was amazing that she had escaped, though it was like she hadn’t. 

Chunks of her felt tied and weighted down. The air down there was toxic and had killed an infinite amount of times, yet? She felt like the air she inhaled now wasn’t the same. Terror would seep into her skin like spider legs crawling up and over her, in and out her mouth, and underneath and around her bones. Her skin always felt like it was burning when it wasn’t, sticky when it shouldn’t be. Somedays, Annabeth picked at her fingernails and imagined peeling away from her body for a moment. 

Percy helped. He always did. Annabeth’s thoughts of what happened down there were blurry at points, but she can remember Percy. She also remembered fear, and some days she looked at him and could feel nothing but a chill and think, _Who is this person?_ She’d look into the mirror the same way, so that could mean nothing. 

Annabeth thought about death a lot. Not in a way that she _wanted_ to die, but sometimes her mind would wander, and she pictured being ripped to pieces, or if someone snatched her away in Tartarus, or if she gave up. Giving up was worse. That’s not something in Annabeth’s plan, but it felt comfortable. She could give up. Annabeth figured that with as much as she’s owed from all she’s done, giving up should’ve been allowed. 

The way she saw it, Annabeth could march up to Olympus right now and demand in front of her mother and the rest of the gods _I want to be left alone for the rest of my life. I give up._ Yeah, that’ll show them. Annabeth could do whatever she wanted for the rest of her life, and no one could say a thing. 

It’ll be fine. More than fine, it’ll be great. For fun this time, Annabeth could travel and learn more about the world rather than the terrors under it. She liked learning at some point. Annabeth had wanted to be an architect at some point, hadn’t she? It seemed like anytime she sat down with a blueprint, her mind would halt, and she’d stare at a blank wall thinking about an imaginary creature biding its time to devour her. That was something she wouldn’t mind getting back into. 

Though, most of the time, that was a fantasy. Annabeth couldn’t leave because Tartarus couldn’t leave her. Even now, she felt frozen, hell whispering an ancient language into her ears, fear making her heart stop. She knew she wasn’t there, but some days she was. Some days she was still gasping in pain, staring up from Bob’s hand, and looking at the black sky. Some days she was dying over and over again. 

“Annabeth,” a voice murmured. “Go to bed.”

She wasn’t there. Annabeth felt silly. She was sitting in her dorm at New Rome, reading a book and keeping her roommate up. Annabeth looked at the alarm clock on her desk. It was early morning. She had an Anatomy test in a few hours. Her roommate had workouts earlier than that.

When she looked down at her book, the letters scrambled in an incomprehensible mess. Annabeth flicked off the desk light and tucked the book under her pillow for some other time. Staring at the ceiling, part of her wished it were the same wooden panels from over the summer, where at night she can sometimes hear Coach Hedge’s TV down the hall or Piper and Hazel giggling. She wished it could’ve been the mattress of the bunk over hers, whatever siblings of hers whispering across the cabin, someone else trying to sneak out. She wished it was even the college dorm that she saw, the soft fairy lights that her roommate put up, and the pictures Annabeth hung. 

Instead, Annabeth could only see the black sky, and her breath hitched as she imagined that she had never actually left what refused to leave her. 

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me here or at my tumblr @[bunkernine](https://bunkernine.tumblr.com/)!!! lol if this feels out of character, feel free to tell me too, I just skimmed like 2 chapters from her pov and just went with it
> 
> thank you 💕


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